Memories

Today I was thinking about the trips we would take up into the mountains when we were kids. My dad would pack us all up into the blue station wagon and hit the road. I don't know how my parents handled the drive because even a fifteen minute drive with my kids can get unbearable fast. Anyway, my mom would pack a picnic lunch and we would go up into Julian, Ramona, or somewhere out east for the day. Sometimes, we would get to stop at Dudley's Bakery and get a few loaves of freshly baked bread. My favorite has always been the jalapeno cheese.

On the hot days, we would bring our swimsuits and head out to Green Valley Falls.  I doubt I could find this place now or if it even is the way I remember it, but we would go into the park and find an empty picnic table. My mom always packed enough stuff for a few days, so after unloading the gear we would sit and eat lunch. There were waterfalls and we were able to slide down them like water slides into a collected body of water. I think it was the moss that made them super slippery.

There was this one time that my dad took my brother Chris and I to the falls.  We kept going down each one and repeating it until we were exhausted. Somehow my dad's wedding band fell off and he couldn't find it anywhere.  We went back up to the picnic table, where my mom and Eddie were, and he told her what happened with his ring. There was no possible way to know which waterfall or pool of water had his ring.

I stayed at the table with my brothers and my parents went down to the falls.  I was wondering how the drive home would be, but it probably would not include a stop for ice cream. After a while, my parents came back and my dad had his ring on his finger. I guess my mom and dad had said a prayer before she put his hand into the water and as he was reaching under a rock, the ring slid onto his ring finger. That is the story that they told us and my dad has shared many times over. It really is a bizarre story, but it is totally true. My dad still wears the same band and has never lost it again.

The kindle book I was reading at the gym today..Joining Miracles.Navigating the Sea of Intended Synchronicities by Michael McGaulley. Pretty interesting story and maybe it is true, but it made me think.  The way that my parents found the ring seems impossible and even now I wonder how in the heck that happened. I have lost things and not found them for years. Was what happened a miracle? Would my parents have stayed married if the ring had stayed lost? Would my mom view it as a sign that the marriage would fail?

I don't know how it happened and every time I hear the story I am still in disbelief. I am just really glad that my parents stayed together, and I almost feel like that story is testament to their marriage.  My dad really is an amazing man. He has so many good stories and I can only hope he will use this blog to share them. Eddie loved hanging out with dad, they had a similar sense of humor and they both knew instinctively when the other needed company.

My dad is having a hard time dealing with Eddie's death and I really feel like posting on here is therapeutic.  I know he still goes downstairs to get Eddie ready to go to his center, but when he gets to the room Eddie is not there.  I know there are certain shows they would watch together, so it must really hurt to watch them alone.So dad, if you are reading this..use this blog as a way to keep Eddie alive.

 Eddie has a way to communicate with us still. It can be a song on the radio that makes you want to dance and you can just see Eddie dancing along too. It can be a memory permanently etched in your mind, like the way Eddie would sit and bounce when he was really happy. He sometimes speaks through my son, Max, reminding me to be a patient mom and that my daughter's fits are brought on by lack of sleep.  "Mom, Eddie says not to yell at Edyth because she hasn't had a nap today and she is tired."

 Eddie is with me every day, pushing me out of bed and challenging me to live my life to the fullest. Knowing that everything is possible and only I put the limits on my life. I know if Eddie had not had the challenges he was born with, and if his life had been easier and longer, he would be trying to convince me to skydive or travel the world. Nothing seemed impossible to Eddie, life was an adventure. Now, when I do some really crazy thing I never thought i would do or challenge myself in a new way, I know Eddie is right beside me cheering me on..and I can do anything.

I love you Eddie...Forever and ever..