More Taking Care of Yourself

*Eliminate Unrealistic Expectations for Self and Others*
I am my toughest critic. When I look in the mirror and find endless flaws, I take the time to find one thing that is right and when I spend a little more time getting myself ready I have less to criticize. I have been trying to be more patient with my family and be less anal about the way they do things. I want them to know I am grateful that they helped me fold laundry so as tempted as i might be to redo it- I leave it alone.

*Pay Attention to Your Diet*
I notice that I feel more energetic and less moody when I actually eat fresh fruits and veggies,not just multiple cups of coffee. Drink water!!!!

*Eat Small Meals*
Appetite disturbances are common during grief. Eat small frequent meals and avoid fatty food and sugary snacks.

*Avoid Alcohol*
I rarely drink anything other than my coffee and iced tea, but I did have a gin and tonic this weekend at Seth's grandma's house. It is true that it can intensify your feelings of depression. It actually made me really edgy and gave me a bad case of verbal diarrhea..oops. Seth was going to order me a cocktail at dinner this weekend too, but I learned my lesson. Rachel+alcoholic beverages= not a good idea.

*Breathe Deeply*
I am learning that when I am stressed out I hold my breath.. a lot. It makes me tense When you take deep breaths from your abdomen, it calms you down by slowing down your breathing and increasing oxygen to your brain. I definitely don't want to have another seizure incident so I will give my brain as much oxygen as it needs. I am taking slow, deep breathes while I type...my brain is feeling very happy right now.

*Try a Massage*
This releases tension and makes you feel taken care of. I like to have Seth wash my back.  It is a good way for me to sneak in some kid free time. Kid free time is very rare in our house, so sometimes it is those five minute escapes that save my day.

*Create a Soothing Environment*
I love our little radio that plays soothing sounds, but unfortunately it broke this weekend. I turn on the fans and listen to the blinds move. I don't know why but it works for me and almost puts me to sleep.

*Consider a Pet*
We have a pet scorpion and a tadpole. I am sure coming home to a kitten or dog would make it a friendly experience, but we have Chili and Green Wolf. I have to admit that I do like coming home to see if our little guy is any closer to becoming a frog, so yeah I guess pets can make you happy.

*Don't Sweat the Small Stuff*
"After what you've been through, it is all small stuff."

*Reinforce Your Sense of Humor*
Not only is laughing great for your abdominal muscles it also releases the body's natural painkillers. My son was watching the "Ordinary show" the other day and it had both Seth and I cracking up. The characters totally reminded us of our family members. We laughed so hard that we got cramps..good laughing cramps.

I know that it is hard enough getting through every day with all the chaos and responsibilities of life. Having a death in the family only magnifies the situation. It can bring in so many negative thoughts and feelings. My life cannot be put on hold while I sort through the mess.

 By taking care of myself I can also take care of my family. I need to be ok for them to feel like it is ok for them to feel ok....does that make sense? When I am happy, my husband is happy. When my husband is happy, I am happy (most of the time). I want my kids to be happy all the time.

 It all starts with me taking good care of myself so I do not have a negative domino effect on everybody else.  Turning the frown upside down, rotating the negative to the positive, laughing instead of crying, living my life and not dying in defeat. Living like Eddie would, with a blindingly white straight toothed smile and love in my heart.