I will be here for you by Michael W. Smith.
I heard this song for the first time on my very first church retreat. Eddie's dad Paul was the youth minister on that retreat.
When Eddie got sick this song popped into my mind even though I had not heard it for years. I did a quick you tube search one night after going to see Eddie and sobbed as I listened to it and thought about how Eddie could sing that song to every person he every met. Eddie was there for everyone in every way he could be.
I remember that night as I listened to the song I thought to myself that I was going to be there for Eddie like he has been there for everyone else. Sure I had been there a lot for Eddie in his life but never like he had been there for me and others around him. I was so pissed off and sad about him getting sick like this that I remember yelling in my head."Dammit! Eddie has been there for everyone his whole life and now it ends up like this? Well I intend to be there for him as much as I can for as long as he is still here!"
Then I did just that. I took time off work or worked crazy odd hours early in the morning or late at night so I could be with Eddie for part of the day. Every time I was with him I did anything he asked me to do.
Eddie actually asked for a lot more than he ever did before he was sick. I am not sure if he did that with only me or with others too. Somehow I think he knew that his time was running out and he might as well go ahead and ask for what he wanted. I think after I kept responding he started to do it more often because he must have known I would do my best to fulfill any request he gave me.
I am really glad I got to be there for Eddie during his last months of life. He is still there for me now even though he is gone. This song will always bring a tear to my eye and it will always make me think of Eddie standing there singing this to all the world with outstretched arms, especially to those he loved so dear: me, Rachel, Mom, Dad, Chris, Michael, Monica, and James.
Thank you Eddie. Thank you for always being there for us.
Finally got into this! I am not computer smart!
ReplyDeleteJennifer, Eddie knows how much you helped him. You were there for him when we needed a break or had something to do for one of our kids.
Eddie lives within all of us. He is now a part of our lives that he could not be before. He is free to experience things that he never could before. I am so happy for him! I do not grieve for him but celebrate his memories and cherished moments we spent with him.
Yes the tears still re-appear but also the laughing about his comments. They were priceless!
Eddie is not lost, he is found. He remains with us just in a different form. We must never be sad about what we didn't get to do with him. Eddie would only want us to be happy about the times we spent with him. Eddie is not complicated! He is just simple. Just like God's love, pure and innocent.
I think what is most special about Eddie that I have come to learn is that he had tremendous faith! Not only with God but with people he called friends. Friendship was important to him and his suffering on this earth was a given for him. He seemed to understand from a very young age that he was called to be special. God asked him to show others about suffering. It has a purpose and helps others open their hearts.